My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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