I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
