He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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