I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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