And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I need to calm my uterus...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
