he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
