Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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