i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
