I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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