all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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