i would punch a child for taco bell
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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