C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
