I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
