i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
