I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.