Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....