Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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