i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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