You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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