I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
