on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
