I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize