Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
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My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
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Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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