i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
