Only a mothe r could love this liver
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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