my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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