You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
