it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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