The maid of honor just puked.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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