my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I believe in your delicious
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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