I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
