Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
