At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
