He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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