btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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