I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
