he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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