yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
