thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
