just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
