Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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