"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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