I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
