Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
