What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
