We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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