Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
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At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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