Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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