i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
