And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
