...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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