everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
