Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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