i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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