garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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