He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
someone owes me an orgasm
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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