my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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