I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
