Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
