Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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