first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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