nut hugger
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
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I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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