we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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