Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
