Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
